Hello

I'd like to invite applications to be my new girlfriend from any famous actresses (film or tv), pop stars, models or other well known girl about town types.

Our budding romance would have to be splashed across the gossip pages of the tabloids with us getting out of flash cars, frequenting high profile celebrity jaunts and film premieres. If your celebrity kudos is such that we would make front page news (for what I don't know...but I'm sure we could sell some kinda made up story to the paparazzi).... then even better.

I'd normally just go for the non-celebrity type (though i am quite fussy) being rather non celebrity myself, but am desperate to show two fingers up to my lying, cheating, stealing, life sapping, soul destroying little ***** of an ex girlfriend that I have moved on from her onto bigger and better things .... and think this may be quite an effective way to go about it.

I would be satisfied if this was just a 'business like' arrangement as long as we achieved the desired amount of exposure ...Interviews with OK, Hello ... or more upmarket rags if your celebrity status demands so ... then go our separate ways, having done a 'good' thing ... and we finish with you being interviewed, quoted in some magazine, paper, tv show how I was your 'greatest love' and we shall always be friends but due to our busy schedules could not be together ....you know we can work on the exit

Hey, just thought.... maybe like some kind of mock wedding in a lil' chapel in Las Vegas with an Elvis impersonator residing over the proceedings ,,,, 2 weeks after meeting might get us a lot of exposure, thats the kind crazeee lurrve that I'm talking about here to get us noticed. Everyone talking about the famous star and her bit of ruff lover boy ... will it last ... wont it ... will it ... wont it .... bets taken at Ladbrokes.... is he after her money .... isn't he... I think your starting to get the picture now.

I'm not looking for a free lunch ... though you being vastly richer than lowly I, I would not be adverse to you taking me shopping for some nice clothes - just so I can look good on your arm for you ...and the cameras, dinner in posh restaurants the like... could be nice though not expected. Be nice to be looked after for a change though .... instead of taken for a mug ... again

I of course still just being myself, will gladly take you down the pub with my mates and their GF's, go for long walks holding hands, talk life, universe, your mad uncle bob, my crazy little niece and nephews and choose our babies names and every thing in between, sit in a cafe chatting for hours, get your Bafta / Oscar nominated / Art house film out on dvd from blockbusters ...curl up on the sofa ... romantic weekends away, not as flash your obviously used to but .... if you are really that down to earth, normal girl from next door thats just really one of us and is in the business because its a passion in your blood..... then you may actually enjoy my company ... and we may hit it off for real. No pressure.

Me:
Caring, honest, good looking, sexy guy ....nice arse Relaxed, witty, intelligent and fun to be around, hold a good conversation ... not fazed by celebrity and can dance

You:
Famous, rich, drop dead gorgeous (optional as gorgeous would probably suffice), talented, bags of celebrity mates, classy, sophisticated, famous, beautiful, famous, long legs, famous, nice bum, and sexy and famous.

Think that would do the trick, got to be worth it just to show her .... if not would still be a good laugh and make me feel better, I'm sure you will enjoy it too ....

*********This is a a 100 % genuine ad - please no timewaster, I'm just not in the mood ! ******* Oh and by that I mean pic collectors, cam girls, russian mafia / scammers, guys .... and Abbey Titmus ! ....just so you know ********

Thank you for reading the ad, I shall try and respond to all replies .... as I'm sure there will be lots, please be patient

ps: If you are an actress / pop star / singer song writer etc ... please .. can we leave the drama at home ? Thanks

pps: Sorry Abbey .. but you're just not my type

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