You know who you are. A long time ago, two or three years, we chatted, you ensnared me with your gorgeous cuteness, and then left the site, without a word, leaving me floundering in your wake.

You told me that I made you laugh. Ha! Just like all of the rest of the guys no doubt. How many hearts rent asunder did you leave behind? And for what? An "adult movie industry actor" no doubt, harlot!

You showed me photos of your goth daughter and her boyfriend, ex Jimmy Hendrix Experience, dead cool I admit, begged me not to go when I threatened to do so, then left yourself.

My tears have long since dried but I think about you still. Bitch. Still, it is not too late to make amends, to realise that size, stamina and attractiveness are not everything in a man, not anything in fact. It is the spiritual that counts in a man Kate, and believe me I am very, very spiritual. All of the rest is for, well, slags.

So, redemption awaits you. I can redeem you Kate, help you make your peace with God. By physical means as well as spiritual. Not that I want it to be physical you understand but I fear it is the only way to get through to a strumpet like you.

So do the right thing. You are but a fallen angel and I shall rise for you. I mean, I shall raise you up, to the heights, the spiritual high ground.

Errrrrm....well, that's it. Get in touch you sweet misguided little minx and you shall be saved.

Dom.

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