I want to meet a peroxide-blonde richbitch daddy's girl. I want to sleep with a hotter, younger, stupider (if possible) version of Paris Hilton. You preferably grew up in Chelsea or Surrey. It's okay if you're only a Tory because your parents are and you don't even know how many houses of Parliament there are. At the very least I want to screw a girl who wears a cross and thinks the Iraq War is a great idea.

I'm am a skinny-jean wearing musician who goes to gigs, supports the liberals and only listens to weird indie and electronica. I am sick of cool, interesting girls who are more likely to kiss with other girls than me.

I want the most bland, insipid tart this side of Sloane Square. I've always wanted to play meaninglessly in your lip-glossed, bubble-gum chewing world, but class, social groups and a sense of morality have prevented me.

Your pictures get my smarmy pretension.

Contact details

• Email: Click here to reply to this ad

Anti spam: Do NOT contact me offering services or anything of a commercial nature.